Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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