my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
