went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
