the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
