ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
