He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
