You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Randomize
