you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
