U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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