I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
