She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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