so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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