I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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