Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
