My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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