Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I got inside last night via doggy door
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
