sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just had sex on a roof
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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