Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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