He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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