can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
