you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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