I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
