i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Ladies don't puke and tell
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
