Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
time to smoke my breakfast
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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