Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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