the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize