yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
We are two peas in an std pod
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
