what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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