Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
