the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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