I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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