Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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