I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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