When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
