Apparently you make a good broom.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
