I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
