she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
