she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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