Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Randomize