just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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