so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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