He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
