this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
