we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
