What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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