They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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