i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
