k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize