So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
