hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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