you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
