I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
