I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
