I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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