Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
