i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize