u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
